A summer of abandoned words.

*The Strokes-I can't win.

Dear *(insertnamehere),

Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,

This idle hour just wont pass.

I've never missed you this much,

never thought I would,

Didn't think you'd feel this far away.

Your summer perfume is still blowing through this hallway,

Autumn's amber red shadows dance.

I miss our midnight rides on highway 18, 18 is gone.

So go past the lights and all the excuses

You could have left "sincerely yours".

Don't you think it's obvious that I want to say more?

Cause anything too daring to say to you,

Will be said in this letter, then burn it away

So you never realize,I'm here.

I'm thinking of your vague reply,

So I can understand,

Why we put this at rest.

Why we forget to

Say that we were leaving

Say that I was sorry

The past remains unspoken,

As this vacant night is dying.

But I still miss your summer perfume.

This cold air brings such a distance to us,

Such a painful distance.

I'm still waiting for you to say you hate me now,

So I don't have to hold on to this burning heart.

This burning heart is getting old.

While sitting on this cold kitchen floor,

Head down to hide the tears, I've finally realized that you weren't meant for me

Sincerely,

Munirah'.<333

The strokes is love.

Is this what it's like?,

A dream lacking serenity?

*The Killers-Mr. Brightside.

Heys.This whole week started out bad,i have this feeling it's going to end bad too.Received our result slips on tuesday.I cannot make it to 5n with those shitty results.Whatever happened to that girl who got 5th in class during sec1? My position is 36th in class.Stupid prelims.Had my dad to sign it.I think he gave up on me.Such a disappointment.

Monday was a very fucked up day because the weekends weren't good.Was fasting also.So i was being so frustrated with everything.Zul and i kinda had a arguement.My message was suppose to be good but i guess he interpreted it wrongly.So he was being all angry at me.But in the end,everything was settled.I hate my weakness;short tempered.I teared after that.I couldn't take all this shit any longer.Sighh.Couldn't sleep at night so Rese called me up and we talked.Silly boy was doing some magic.Good ah.

The rest of the week was pretty much the same.Oh,oh,HAPPY BELATED 16TH BIRTHDAY SHARON! =) Yea.Wednesday me and debbie followed rese to go jam.Hahha.He's a good guitarist.And i like his guitar..so black.But i've seen a prettier one.It's really pretty.Heee.When will we jam? And yes,we pulled out of the gig because i said no.

24th September 2004,i hate this day.16 isn't sweet enough.I cried when the clock strike 12 this morning.School wasn't much of a help because i was so tired of everything.My dad didn't even wish me,he didn't talk to me.Guess his upset over my results.Sigh.DADDY! Imagine if your parents don't remember your birthday.Kinda sad uh.Prata with sam,sa,debs,nic,sharifah,tan,jo,lin after school.They bought me a slice of cake and debbie gave me a red lighter for my birthday.Hahh.I'm not gonna celebrate also.Whole family isn't home.Today is just like any other friday.I'm craving for some sempoernas.SIGH.

*So close your eyes and sleep to dream.

I'm by your side.

No words to speak.

We'll set our course and make it through.

No matter how far I go,

No matter how much this hurts,

I wanted you to know, My heart remains with you.

Dear *(insertnamehere),

There's many things left unsaid.

You never knew how i really felt.

First you left,then you avoid.

And here you're back again..

SIGH.

Ltrs.Happy 16th birthday.<3

I buried you along with my heart

I'm the little girl at the picnic,

Who won't stop pulling her dress up.

*Rooney-Blueside.

Dear diary,

It's a saturday today.

I spent my whole day at home.

WHY?!

Because my exams are coming and i HAVE TO study.

I didn't get really far today becos' i was tempted by the bed.

There's a gig today at yishun park.

No,no.No more gigs till' i finish the exams!

BUMMER!

And so i cannot go anywhere because of the stupid N's.I just wanna get it over and done with and get promoted to 5n.Pffrt! Meeting with Ms chua was okays.Just like the last time.'You girls are smart but just..extreamly LAZY'.Okays,POINT TAKEN! Had to come up with an action plan and all that.And i studied for the whole week.Haven't been going out.It's always school or home.GOOD AH!

The lower secs these days are becoming such bitches.Few days ago,some girl.Supposedly,an AH LIAN,came up to my class to find for my classmate.Poor classmate of mine was traumatized.DIE BITCH DIE! And she was the one looking for trouble.Who stared at us first? SHE.And she tried to bang me when i walking.What's up with that? Biatch.I wish i could slap her.Just because she has friends outside or what not,doesnt make her oh so high and mighty.RIOT GRRL AH.SHE DIE! and talk about yaya rockstars.Just because you are organising a gig,you don't have to show an attitude.If you don't want us to play,just say so.Bands PAY to PLAY.I'm still considering eventhough i said yes.WHY IS EVERYONE ACTING ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY!? Oh well,whatever!

Lets go be riot grrls.24th september coming.IT'S COMING! Ltrs.

we're not out,we're not in,we're not comfortable,we just don't fit in

We were out of control so,we played Rock & Roll

And threw the homework in the fire again.

*The Jealous Sound-Effortless.

Heys.Haven't been updating much cos' the internet couldn't connect.Stupid trojons.Maybe it's a sign.To start studying! INTENSIVE REVISION AH! Yea.Holidays didn't felt like holidays.Last monday and tuesday was the actual N's.Malay was do-able.Social studies was..i studied the wrong thing.So much for kbe and switzerland.Pffrt! Did comflicts which i am sure i won't be able to get a pass.Pffrt!

Went back to school on thursday and friday.Had maths turotials on thursday.Got back our paper.Fail ah.Since when i passed.Got a 40.Many careless mistakes.Stupid maths.Got lectured after that.Tampines with the rest to slack/study.HAH.Home to sleep cos' i didn't sleep soundly the night before.Kept on thinking about ghosts.HAHA.Was on the phone till 4.30am.Friday we had accounts which didn't really end well cos' she was so annoyed with both classes that she asked us to get out.Uh huh.Accounts is not for lazy people.Towned for awhile and went to admiralty to meet kaz.Recording at ngee ann poly and we left after that.

Weekends were super boring.I slept thru' it and just had tuition.Fucking lazy please.I miss town ah! Hahaha.Miss slacking and doing nothing.Oh.That day me and debs were at hmv.I swear! Stupid hmv.Commercialising everything that cannot be commercialised already! Cds like taking back sunday,warped tours 01-04',coheed and cambria,matchbook. BILLY TALENT! WHY?! Die ah hmv.

Yesterday was an ok day.I think.Yeps.Didn't really have much lessons.Yeps.During accounts,she was still annoyed with us.So she made us write out what we were going to do to get a B3.Went thru' the question paper for malay.Pffrt.Paper 2 was bad.I didn't really score.Careless ah! SLAP ME! Angry ah.There goes the A2.Today was such a long day.Got back geog and english.Passed english.Not a good pass.Few more marks to b4 but i will push to get an A2.Have to get a b3 for the rest except for combined humans.Hah.That one can go suck tits for all i care.Have to see ms chua again.And Ms lim's gonna call parents soon.All those who had an F.SCHOOL AH SCHOOL!

Saves the day has been keeping me up.So has the jealous sounds.I miss munchies.Hahah.When will we jam again? WHEN?! I miss zul and he's sia las.And our silent bassist.HAHA.And SITI who stole eddie.HAH.Can' wait to see them.Hmmm..lips have been cracking and my tragus hole is growing smaller and tighter.Pffrt! Oh wells.Stayed back to do accounts just now.Last hour was with nic and we were talking from studies to love.HAHA.BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK AH! Then the week after would be N's.Lousy 16th birthday.I have a feeling it's not gonna be good.Sighh.Mug now ah muni.K go!

Oh well, you've got me under your spell

So as I contradict myself,

and forget all I've said,I am free.

*Yellowcard-Breathing.

Heys.Malay N's tomorrow.I haven't even touch my notes yet.Good ah.I AM FUCKING LAZY! But i did my social studies.Which i feel so useless in cos' i have come to realise i got the lowest in class! I need nicolette! She helps me expand my knowledge.OH NIC,WHERE ART THOU NIC!

I want to pierce my lips badly.Maybe i'll be like debbie.Pierce it in the middle of the night when i'm bored.Was going through some of my stuff.Haha.I came across my old diary.I use to write so much about this guy.Oh wells.That was 4years back! And that small little purple book that i was suppose to give jamal.HAH.Bring back memories but..WAHAHAHA.Funny ah.I'm being such a jealous bitch.Get what i mean?.YA YA.

Random entries makes no sense.HAH.I slept at 0330am this morning.Was conferencing with debbie and hussain.HAHAHAHA.HUSSAIN FUNNY AH! He kept on asking us to sing slick shoes and my phone battery just had to go flat! Pffrt! Nobody wants to own me.SAD CASE FOR THE BROKEN HEARTED! *(insertnamehere),i miss you.SIGH.Go study ah muni.K GO!

Prove it to the world you're perfect, your choking on your pride.

You were so condescending,

As the alcohol drained the days.

*Last days of april-Aspirins and alcohol.

Heys.Teacher's day celebration was great on tuesday.Theme was good.Sixities/seventies.Too bad we couldn't perform.Hahaha.Just didn't had the mood after aces.Cause we didn't even know what aces was like.So we just made our own dance.Hehh.Got back our social studies prelims too.Most SHITIEST marks i've ever gotten for that subject.Uterly disappointed with myself.

Went home to sleep before heading for dinner with the rest.Mum allowed me.Heh.Left at 5 to meet the rest.Sa,nic,jo,eileen,tanya,deb,dani.Hahaha.We played at the playground and stupid me.Wear jeans at the beach.Couldn't play near the sand.=( Found a table but delayed the rest cos' of some others we were waiting for.Dinner was fine.Crapped around like crazy.Siti,zul,nihaad came.And zad too.Hahaha.But it ended up kinda fucked.Whatever to that.My dad didn't talk to me the whole day cos he was upset.PARTY POOPER! i wish i tonned with the rest! Sad ah.

Stayed home the whole day yesterday doing nothing when i was suppose to be out taking photos.Mundane.School was surprisingly quick today.Hah.Got back our accounts.FAILED.Bio structed was like crap.FAILED very badly.I've been failing most of the prelims.WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?! Pffrt.More scripts tomorrow.I don't want to see any of them.It makes me feel stupid.Heh.Was doing malay corrections.I could've gotten B3 if i read the fucking paper properly.UGH! Irratating.N's are starting soon.Next week soon.SIGH! Like what tsunami bomb said,'but it'll be good if i could just stay home'.Ltrs.

Republic gig.

P.s:ZUL AH! don't say don't have your face.Got part of your face.HAHA.Petite ah.

I wish i weren't so accident prone