So just hold your tongue for a second,And spare me your two bit advice.

Bleahs.Sitting at home right now.Pratically falling apart.Exhausted.Finally it's friday.Feeling feverish now.No band for me.Haven't get progress card yet.Next week.Wanna see how bad i fair.Yups.Hmm.Still there's band tomorrow and my cousin's 21st.Hmm.O' level result today.Hope you passed.And to others too.

School was okays.Considering half the time i was either stonning,sleeping or passing slips of paper to sa.Heh.Met sa in the morning.Went to the canteen.Talked and broke down.Just didn't know who to turn to.Malay was okays.Cikgu thought that i had eye infection.Cause my eyes were all so puffy and red.Half the time i kept on thinking back about the day before.Embarassed.Broke down again.Geog.Went to the toilet and just cried.Didn't want to take PE.Looked pretty miserable.Hah.After recess was feeling much better.Just tried not to think about it.Yups.Thanks sa for being there for me yea? Hope things will work out between you and clara also.=)

Just thinking about feeling embarrassed just sucks.I don't want to get laughed at.Yes,it's all about pride.Sa was feeling pretty miserable herself.Guess she's also going thru' what i'm going thru'.I'm just deceiving myself and everyone else.No.I don't think the feelings are fading away.In fact,i think it's stonger.I shouldn't have even mention khai also.Yes,i'm insensitive towards your feelings.Blame me.But really,i don't have feelings for khai.Just you.And no,i'm not starting to like anyone else after realising.It's all just crushes here and there.Nothing compared to what i'm feeling for you right now. I thought you yourself would open up after all this but i was wrong.Again,pride.

I'm finally starting to realise everything is just in reverie.Soon,i'll also give up.Whats the use of trying to get something you really want badly but can't have?.That's how i'm feeling right now.Hurt.Don't keep on telling me to go for khai cause i will not go for a mere starbucks fella.Don't push me away.Please.That's the last thing i'll ever want from you.Please.

//I've been sitting here for hours
Burned an image of you in my mind
Finding comfort in the words you say
But its not the same

I know you're worth the wait
And I can't explain
What I'm going through inside
But I would turn away the world
Just to have you here with me tonight

We can take our time
Making sure that everything feels right
It won't be easy but I'm not afraid
You're so far away
We made our start from scratch
It's now or never but we can't look back
I need you with me for another day
You're so far away

I've been sitting here forever
Your voice is resonating in my mind
Countless hours with you on the phone
And now I'm not alone

I know there's no time left for second chances
Still we're right despite these circumstances
You've changed me more than you could ever know
So we will just hang on until tomorrow
So take my hand, don't ever let me go
This time is right//

I feel my heart implode
And I'm breaking out
Escaping now
Feeling my faith grow old

Pay an audience to care.

Heys.Yeps.Today is such a good day.Ahh.Productive actaully.I'm happy with myself.Heh.Woke up pretty early today.Replaying all messages i had.Heh.Crapped around before assembly.Heh.Ohh.Sharifah fell down during malay.Haha.It was kinda cute cause after she fell,she was laughing,laughing then she cried.She hit the table edge.Haha.Silly girl.

RE was kinda boring yet entertaining.About marriage.*yawns.Heh.Wasn't interested please.The rest of the day passed very quickly.2 periods of everything.Was smsing Jamal too.Haha.Companion already.Hurr.Opposite after school.Ate lunch with ade,nic,deb,sharon,weiwei,ben.Yeps.Back to school.Found lisa.Drawing her heart out.=( Was intentending to go home but i stayed in the library to study.Did accounts and maths.=) Test test tomorrow.Trial balance and suspense accounts.Gonna pratice more later on.Happy happy me.I think progress card tomorrow.Alamak.Die ahh.Heh.

Ska fest on the 14th.=) Woowheee.My dad's outta town.I'm a happy child please.Gonna go to Kuala Lumper during the March holidays.Shopping shopping and more shopping.Heehaw.I love shopping.Hmm.Talk with sammy just now.Kinda got most of my feelings out.Yea.Tomorrow okays? Msg msg me.

LISA LISA! i know you wouldn't be reading this,but i heart you okays? We'll be there for you.Must be strong yea.Who knows,things will get better.Must tell me the whole story.Just try not to think about it.Remember muni's here for you cause she hearts you.Ltrs.

you're so much more endearing with the sound turned off

Bored I am, bored of my own desperation.

Heys.Been lazy to blogged.I rather write my say on paper then put it online actually.Many people reading.What's more,i can't bitch.Or else i'll create conflict and there'll be drama mama in school.Hehh.Been up late 2 days in a row.My maid hasn't been waking me up.Grr.Haven't been on the phone long also.Always have to put down on conferences.Sad case la this one.Heh.

Sunday was a pretty good day.Well,i felt that it was good.Time set aside for relaxation and time set aside for study.Was really productive.And what's more.I was the heroin of the day.I saved a chicken from the tree.HAH.I use my curve ruler and hit the tree and it fell.Heh.Talk about bird flu.Studied for science test and conference with Debbie,Husaini and Jamal.Haha.They were saying that they were playing a game and said who they will marry.Husaini will marry Debbie.=| Hehh.Yea.That lucky fella went to Aussie.I wanna fly there too! Haha.Somebody missing him huh? -nudges deb.Hah.

Day pass kinda fast yesterday cause i was msging Jamal the whole time.Heh.Was also using the time in between to study for bio/physics.Oh my.The test was..The physics was shit! I tell you.I didn't,well half the class didnt know we need protector.And there was a question that needed neasuring.=/.I tikam okays.All Mr sim fault.Heh.Bio was do-able.At least i knew what i was writting.Hahaha.Band after that.Taught the Sec1's.Teached alto instead of tenor.Weelyn was good.That's why i could read my magazine.Hah.Pure slacking session.Combined after that.Played Djembe Spirit.Easy peasy.Pre-dinner with Justine and Chery.Conference again.Debbie always making fun of me and Jamal.What sia.Had to put down after that.Another night of a sad case.

Woke up late again today.School was oh so fine.Was really tired.Suppose to get back progress report today but nah,we're getting it back during the week.*cries.This is just gonna worsen the relationship i have with my father.Ugh. Haha.Debbie got hit in the eye with an exercise book.Haha.Eelynn la.think she so smart.Haha.She got caught for her killer nails.Hehh.Poor child.Oh yea.She found her wallet.Haha.Her ezlink and money and some of her neos are gone.Haha.The botaks must have been laughing at that 10cents face girl.Haha.Tutorials after school.Well,i put myself in it.Anyways,it's suppose to help me and my malay.Heh.

Back home after that.Mum was telling me about her day at the hospital.Haha.She so poor thing.She just watch tele the whole day and do nothing.Besides,nagging la.Hehh.Hmm.Actually,everything at home is just fine.Until it comes to dinner time and my dad starts pin-pointing ALL my mistake.Sighh.I'm not happy.I'm one hell of a saddist please.The feeling is eating me inside.Grrr.Yea.Whole day was sleeping.I've finally found someone whose motivating me.I hate mixed feelings too.

Thursday alright sweets? I'll try not to be tired and down.Keep me up and everything will be fine.Ltrs.

It's not meant to hurt you but let me assure you,
It's not what I said but intentions you've read

Take this life and end this struggle,Los Angeles come scam me please.

Heys.Still not on good terms with my dad.I dunno.He's just lecturing me eveytime.I hate it.Yea.Blame me.I'm not the smart one.Blame me.I'm not a good daughter.Blame me.I add on to all your other problems.Blame me,i'm stupid and dumb.Blame yourself,for making a stupid,lousy shithole daughter that i am now.Yes.Blame me for everything.

Laselle gig was shitty.I bet everyone's writting it in their blog or something.Went in at around 0645pm.Seven Sundays were playing.They were alright.But their songs abit draggy la.Yea.After that was Gorbachev.Dunno ah.They started a moshpit then last last fight.What sia.Debbie lost her wallet so was kinda fucked la.She had too leave after that.Gab lend her money and she took a cab home.Bahh.No skanky skanking today.Sial.I'll make a ska party at my house one day.Heh.ONE DAY.=)

Intended to go to Ana hotel at first but getting there was super leceh so me and ron headed to lucky plaza for budget eating.Heh.Down to starbucks after that.No khai no nobody or whatsoever.Walked around.Trained back at 0945.Saw jon from plain sunset.HEH.Me and ron was like.WoooWheee.Cloud 9.Hahaha.We were happy girls.Heh.Then he dropped off at kembangan.Alamak.Saw that slipknot wannabe shithole sec2.Ughh.My father was making a big fuss of me coming home.At least i'm home right.At 1030pm.

Hmm.I dunno.Sorry for replying so late just now.Phone was retarded like anything.The whole day was flooded with memories of you and i.Yea.I miss those times where we would hog the phone and start our endless crap.I wish we were like before.Just plain friends.Guirtarist.Saxophonist.If only anyone knows how i'm feeling now.Pure torment.I wish you were here.

Just had a chat with mujib.Fucking hell,it's been a long time since i cried this much.Mostly about me going downwards and heading towards ITE than sec5.I'm scared out of my wits.If i'm not gonna do anything about it,ITE here i come.I need a tutor.Anyone willing? Yea.Told him about issues with me dad too.He's been there to listen la.So yea.I just needed to let my tears out.Been holding them back for some time.Yea.I wish i was like before.Always motivated but i guess i was never to good for my parents.I'm admitting it,i'm lousy.Ltrs.

Vanity Shots









overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins,
in an hour i'll be ok

Wasting wishes on copper and stars.

Heys.This week has been real busy.Ok la.Not that la but it was hectic.Oh my.Band as usual today.Sectionals.Lazed around.Wasn't in the mood for band today.Played welcome.My part was easy.Ended early and usually pre-dinner with justine and cheryl.

Yea.Feeling melancholy.Arghh.I dunno.I just think that i've had enough issues with my parents.Yea.I know i should be fortunate and all those crap but come on,its like really presurrising.And yes it's only the N's.Ahh.Shut up already.Band tomorrow.Lazy ah.0845am.Need my beauty rest.School's a drag.Bathing in the morning now is up on my chore list.Ughh.I'm tired.I'm really tired.All i want to do is just lay back and relek one corner suah.

Oh.Condolences to Tiffy and her family.I didn't know the news until today when cheryl told me.Real sorry.Know that she loves her grandpa alot.It's been a long time since i saw him too.Should have followed them to the wake.Oh well.Parts and parcels of life resulting to death.LaSelle,LaSelle i'm coming tomorrow.Woohoohooo.Hah.Yeps.

21st tomorrow.Suppose to meet.Doubt i'll be going over also.Thoughts going through my head.About 'us'.I want it to stop.I want it to be like the first time we met.I feel as if we're in reverie.But all this thinking is tormenting me too.You dunno how i'm feeling.And i know shit about what going on in that head of yours.Msg me if anything.Ltrs.

So thank you for being that kind of guy

I would feed your corpse to my guinea pig.

Heys.Bleahs.Day has been really messy.Yea.Came to school early to set up the amps and stuff.Nic didn't bring her guitar today so we made do with only 1 guitar and 1 bass.Yeps.During physics.Ahhh.The most shittest physics lesson ever.Lisa was smsing in class.I mean so was everybody la.Then she putting the phone back to her bag.Then that Mrs boo hoo went to go see.And confiscate.Oh my.The class was like..Yea.Hah.We down there standing up for lisa and stuff.Lisa just kept quiet.Waited for her to finish her talk with Mrs boo after class.She droke down after that.*hugs.I mean ya la.Yall might think why she cry and all those shit.Heh.Sa has a postion in the council and stuff.Sha can't afford to have any more discipline problems.Yea.And she begged mrs boo not to tell mrs joseph.Poor child la.Damn that boo!

During RE sa was telling us what Mrs boo said to her.She reads all the messages.Hah.One hell of a busy body please.Ughh.Hate people like her.All of us transfered phone to other classes.Hehh.Bio was great.Today's lesson was good.Hehh.English.Thought that there was gonna be spotcheck or some confrontation session again but nah.We did some N'level fees thing.

Went down to set up the guitar and bass.Today was okays la.Wouldn't really say it was good but it was better than the first.Hehh.Pack up and all.Afternoon plan was cancelled.Yes.Again.Bahh.Shouldn't brood over it.Wanted to go jamming.So we went.Waited for veron to come then when we were waiting for our room,we decided to go back to veron's place to jam.Poor wee lee.Heh.Then we say a chinese skinhead.Hahahaha.He looked like Max.Debbie was laughing her balls off.

Played a few songs in veron's house.Her amps rocks.Haha.Her bass too.Debbie had fun with the distortion.Hah.After playing around we ate.We were watching the NFG dvd too.Oooooo.I like chad! yea! Only watched like 1 chapter of it? Hah.Went back after that.Netball won against Bedok Green.=) Dad was waiting for me.Hahh.Got shit from him.Just whatever to that old folk.Can't be bother with him i swear.In the midst of doing homework.Yea.Ohh.Thanks su for getting me that care bear eventhough it wasn't the one i wanted.I'm happy with it.=))

I dunno.I feel angry at the same time sad? I just hate it when everything is cancelled last minute.Like you plan your whole day out.Suddenly,the fella can't make it.And you're plans are gone.Say that i'm not understanding,i'm not denying it.But i just hate it.I feel as if my day's been wasted.And no.I'm not gonna be free on friday.I can't skip band for your sake.Yes,a part of me say i should be with you but then the other says no.For many reasons.I'm not gonna say it.There's still alot of things left unsaid.And i hope it stays that way till we end everything for good.Ltrs.

I would like to tell you something
But I can't be bothered

Talk Shows On Mute.

Heys.Hmm.Days' been cold lately.Been really sick.Started sneezing in the morning.Still coughing.Bleahs.Skipped pe today.Felt like sneezing into everyone's face.Heh.Hurr.During english we had to write a love letter.Us posing as David Beckham.Hah.We were writting to Victoria Adams.Hehh.Then i had this pain in my tummy.I swear it was bloody hell killing me.Lasted the whole day you know.Pms? Nah.Pms hangover.Mahaha.And yes,i'm learning a third language.Tamil.I have to roll my tongue.RRRRRoLLLeRRRRcoasteRRR.Ok.Shut up already muni.

Debbie skipped tutorial so we headed to town.No khai today.Think he's working night shift.Heh.We had gelare though.Cookie dough ice cream.=)) Walked around and i had laksa after that.Down to cine to meet max after that.Heh.Mr Cammy wammy shaved his mohawk.Debbie keeps on thinking that he was a skinhead.Hah.But Nahhh.He's not Moby.Hurr.Went back after that.

Debbie kept on calling me a bitch? What sia.Heh.She la.Went to say that these kids infront of us were monekys.I mean ya la.They kinda resemble monkeys.Haha.I shall not start.Hehh.My mum was kinda pissed cause i came home late.Right.She should just go sleep and watch tele.Grrr.

We're gonna play for the school tomorrow.Heh.I don't feel the thrill.Yea,maybe the thrill of embarassing myself.Haha.And i can't sing cause of my cough.Thanks to the laksa.Yea.Hope i get my voice back overnight.Heeehaww.I got myself a care bear.WooooowhEeee.Hug em' hug em' hug a care bear.Yes,i'll hug it.

Ughh.Just had dinner with my parents.I just hate it when they do all the pep talk.It's kinda irratating.Like come on,we're eating here and they have to like squabble.And they were showing about some sec2 guys having some porn vcds shit.My dad was like,'girl..listen ah'.Now,why would i bring porn to school? Then they were saying about embarassing the parents and blah blah all the crap.I was too lazy to entertain them.Again,i hate being told what to do.The more they tell me and keep on forcing,the more i won't listen.I'll do it on my own.

Hmm.i guess from this part on,it's gonna be real intimate and emo-ish.Since it's my blog,i'll write how i feel.Yeps.It's always the case where you have to make a decision.The wrong thing or right.You know you're in the wrong but you still can't help yourself.Yes,that's being really selfish of me.Just caught in between of things.And yea.I end up feeling guilty and shitty.All the time.Cause after everything is done.i realise that i was wrong.Crap.It's just you,me and the ultimate feeling.

I remember myself saying last time that i wanna die,i wanna die but now,i feel good feeling alive.Yes,there's alot of things that i hate around me but isn't that parts and parcels of life? Read about a girl's boyfriend being in an accident.He passed away after that.I think that kinda hit me and ponder awhile.So,i'm grateful that i'm alive and kicking today.And i'm gonna make every single day of my life worthwhile.Yea.Anyways,have my maths to do.And tomorrow i'll see you again.Ltrs.

//The fact that you,
You think you can
Speak to me
The way you do
Bleeds me to believe that you
Have never stepped out of the skin you live within

But when, and if
This day occurs
Your tongue, the taste
Will immitate a battery
The anti-equilibrium
Your stomach becomes the floor

The look on your face was priceless//

Please end this, please end this
Before this ends us, ends us

Angel with a pint glass.

Heys.Bahhh.Not a good monday today i swear.Hah.I got my voice back! That's one thing good.Hurr.Yea.So was shouting around in class just now.Heh.Was intending to go for band but was still having cough.It got really bad during accounts.Haha.Everyone was just like turning and asking if i was okays.Hahaha.Have yet to recieve malay standard test back.So scared that i'm gonna flunk.Cme was kinda fun.Got project to do.Group up with sam,sa,karen and debs.Heh.Was smsing the whole time.Yeps

Maths standard test.The luck didn't came when i needed it.Ughhh.Was all stress up and today was yes,a bad hair day.Haha.I could have pulled all my hair out thinking for the answer.So once again,i'm gonna fail.Good luck to you and your report card on friday.And i want to go to lasalle on saturday.=/.In dipshit please. Yea.Met veron and headed down to tampines after that.Now i'm sneezing all over.My immunity system is failing me.Just what i need.Ughhh.No homework done today.Just feeling too sick to do anything.

Dad's home.He bought me some vietnemese clothes? Hah.Yea.I think i look spastic in them.=| That's being a lil' mean of me.Heh.The pants so long.Oh myy.Gotta go get it altered along with my jeans which is really tattered and torn.Hehh.Go tapper it.Then i can join the group of minahs and mats.HURR.Just whatever to me i know.Haha.Okays.Jillian sent me this so i thought i'd put it here.

1.Have you ever been in love? NAH.Love? More like infactuation.Heh

2.How do you know it's love? Dunno.Have yet to feel it.

3.What makes you fall in love? Personality.

4.What if your girlfriend/boyfriend is a bad kisser? Ahaha.Who the hell cares?!.

5.What turns you on (at 1st sight)? Hair that falls on his face and eyebrown rings/lip piercings.

6.Are you the jealous type? Depends.Most of the time yes.Who wouldn't.

7.Body or brains? Both can? =)

8.Do looks matter? I guess not.

9.What turns you off? Those who think their some big fuck.

10.The perfect date? Dinner under the stars.=)

11.What do you have that will make a person fall for u? Haha.Dunno.My lamility? HURR.

12.Do you still believe in courtship? I dunno.Maybe.

13.Flowers or chocolates?? Both can? Hehh.

14.Kiss on the first date? Yeps.

15.Sex on the first date? Hahh.No sex before marriage la.

16.What would you do if you find out that your girlfriend/ boyfriend is cheating on you? HAH.Make he regret it.Hur.

17.Have you ever cheated on someone? NAH.Haha.I'm not THOSE sort ok.

18.Flirting or long term relationship? Both can? Hehhh.

19.What do you think of holding hands in public? Hold la.

20.What do you think of kissing in public? Hehh.Abit ewwwey.Hur.

21.What if your girlfriend/boyfriend is a smoker? Smoke la.Hurr.I love him for who he is.

22. in love with a friend of the same sex? Nahhh.

23. What would a guy/girl do to win your heart? Dunnnoooo.How would i know.

24. Will you sacrifice for your boyfriend/girlfriend? Depends on how the situation is.Heh.

I think i'd make a bad girlfriend.Hahaha.Everything also want.Chocolates and flowers.Hehh.Tuesday tomorrow.Gelare day.Dunno wheather debbie wanna go.She wanna go starbucks.Hehh.Okok.I shall go do my STUDY plan now.Oh yea.Enjoyed my time today.But when it is gonna be our last? Like you said,we must have our limits.And like i said i don't think my feelings for you are really that strong already.I know i'm fickled but after thinking,i think its fading.For real.Ltrs.

//I know they say that love hurts, but you didnt have to hurt me,
I would have taken your word for it, I trusted you completely.
I got your number in my pocket, I could give you a call,
The only problem with that plan is I dont like you at all.

So now I'm sitting home and watching rain go down my window pane,
I wish I'd never got the courage up to go ask you your name.
And now im sitting home and watching rain go down my window pane,
You helped me get into this mess so won't you help me out again?//

Something that youve said.
Made her want you dead.

This is the story so far, cant wait for the next chapter.

Heys.Hahha.Okok.I'm gonna be contridicting here but i like that bass fella from simple plan.Hahaha.I think he's hot.Maybe he's gay cause he looks gay but waddahell,he's hot.Hair that falls on his face.He got piercings too! =) Oh ya.So many rockstars i like.Heh.The used's guitarist also.Quinn Allman.My my.Super hotness.Hehh.Maths standard test tomorrow and i'm too lazy to study.Good luck munirah.Ltrs.





i just want something.
i just want something i can never have
you always were the one to show me how
back then i couldn't do the things that i can do now.
this is slowly take me apart.
grey would be the color if i had a heart.
i just want something i can never have.
in this place it seems like such a same.
though it all looks different now,
i know it's still the same
everywhere i look you're all i see.
just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be.

i know it's not the right thing,and I know it's not the good think.
but kinda i want to.

The pianist peddled into morning.

Heys.Hmm.Haven't been updating.Hurr.Yea.Happy valentine's day! =) Had alot of stuff on friday.Thanks for giving yea? You all should know who you are.I was pathetic.No money to even buy a single gifts.I owe people money.Sigh.I want a plastic card now.Bluekk.Yeps.I'll try to recall what happened these few days.

Friday.Had SOP in the morning.Heh.Kinda okays la.Lost my voice so half the time i couldn't make up what i was saying.Heh.My ears got blocked too.Yea.Didn't go for band cause i couldn't blow.Went to temasek poly open house instead.It was okay la.Alvin was our so called your guide.Lousy guide actaully.Heh.Met raodah and mad after that.Slacked arounda and went home aound six.Docs for me at night.Down with throat infection.Sighhh.Now i can't sing.Kinda sad okay.=(

Yestersay.Valentine's day.Hurr.Spent half of my dad eating and sleeping.Woke up and got ready to meet debbie.Yeps.Trained down to orchard.Many couples around.Heh.Went down to far east to get my starry earrings.Contented with it.Thanks debbie! =) Had burger king for dinner.Freeloader today sia.Hehh.Headed to cine after that.Was suppose to meet max but dunno what happened to that shorty.Hehh.Went outside to slack around.Hahaha.We met felicia after that.I down there asking her to lend me money.Hurr.SO that i can go to starbucks and see khairul.Hehh.Meanie pooo.

Walked all the way back.We saw khairi at lucky plaza with his group of friends.Ahhhh.*faints.Debs went to go call him and stuff.We wanted to take picture TOGETHER.But but but.haha.We didn't think of that earlier.Yea.He's heading towards raffles.=) Ohh.Khai.Yea he has bloodshot eyes.Who cares please.

Went to starbucks far east.Yea.Ordered from khairul.*Beams.Hehh.He's cute i swear.But,alamak he has a girlfrined.Just whatever.Hurr.Yea.He touched my hand debs.HURR.Yea.Played with the camera after that.We took his photo! But some girl blocked like 3quater of his face.Damn her! Haha.Uploaded them already.Go search around.Yups.We saw Mogan after that.Debbie down there think she damn cool you know.Say wanna pay him if he took a picture of both khais.Hahaha.What sia.They should get eyebrown rings!! =)) That'll make me happy happy.Heehaw.Saw imran also.Heh.Went home after that.

Class tomorrow.Don't feel like going.Argh.Whatever.Still have homework to do and stuff to make.Sigh.Felt kinda sad seeing everyone attached.Even the person you like is attached.Ahhhhhh.Crap crap crap.Hmm.Anyways,Wednesday comfirm yea? Msg me or something.Ltrs.











oh nooooo! He got blocked!!

you ripped my heart out of my then you put it back

I'm your mirror's reflection.

Heys.Ahhh.Sore throat.Lost my voice.I can't sing.Alamak.I want to sing ah.Hehh.Hehh.Yeps.Nothing much happened.Still have homework to do.Tomorrow,everyone's gonna exchange valentine's gift.Hah.Seriously,i'm broke this year.Owe ron 6bucks and Sharifah 5bucks.Sighh.Present will only come on monday yea? =) Maybe spending valentine's with debs.Hahh.What sia.Its gonna be another depressing one.Spit it out.

Poly open house for us today.Nanyang.Should have choose Republic.The amount of people going there was little.Hehh.Brought my camera today.Didn't take anything from the school.All in the bus.What sia.Then we down there recording.Haha.No handsomes today.Kinda sad.But we saw Khai's friend who works at starbucks.And i saw my cousin.Hehh.Then we went to some science block.As if we were interested and we don't even take chem.Heh.The school of design is funky! So artsy fartsy.The art works there are really cool.*beams.Heh.Was damn drained.Temasek Poly tmr.Can't blow my sax cause my throat hurts.Bleahs.Bawwy.I'll miss you.Heh.Kk.Homework,homework ah.You're no fucking elvis.Ltrs.











the cup is not half empty as pescimists say

Globes and Maps.

Heys.Sorry for the lazyness yesterday.Just wasn't in the mood to type much.Heh.Yuppers.Tuesday.Thought it was going to be a good day but i was so wrong.Hah.Pe first was okays until amanda sat on my toes.Ughh.I shall not go on about how heavy she was.During english we changed sits.Nooooooo! Debbie's not with me anymore.DEVI.She's a table across me now.Same as sammy.Eelynn's beside me now.Feeling kinda smart now.Maybe she's my motivation.Hahah.=) Actually,i hope she's my motivation.Heh.Nic's infront of me now.Yay! Heehaw.

Bio bio bio.Failed the test again.What's new.Could have gotten a 10.But i scored a 9 due to a careless mistake.I know it wouldn't really make me pass cause' the test was over 22.Heh.Yea.Social studies was okay.We had confrontation session.Hehh.Copied some notes and bell rang and all.Accounts.Learn some new shit.Hah.Correcting some error crap.I swear i do not understand what that women is constantly yakking about.Asked eelynn to teached me and i understood abit.

Went to go talk to debbie after class.Trashed things out with her.Yea.I feel kinda lousy.Dunno how to tell her to stop.Tried telling her and stopping her but she wouldn't listen.She's just contridicting.Saying one thing and doing another.Sigh.Yea.Met sa after that and had lunch with her,nic and alison while waiting for joanna,deb,sam.Deb and sam came over to my place with the intention of doing bio but we ended up going online and looking at people's picture.Hahah.Yea.They left at 05.30pm.

Haven't done my bio yet.At least it's halfway done la.Heh.Suppose to go galare today but cause my dad was giving me a fucking attitude in the morning,decided not too.Silly old man.He's going to vietnam tomorrow.Wooooowheeeeeeee.=) Happy wappy i hope i'm not going to get sappy.Hehh.Yea.Dunno when's my mum gonna come home.Bahh.Don't think i'll be going out this valentine's.Been going out alot lately.Furthermore,hoping that i can go to that lasalle open house thing.=) Heh.And nanyang poly is this thursday.And temasek this friday.Hahh.Getting sick soon.Cough cough cough.

Yea.Been blog-hopping and stuff.Bahh.I hate people who thinks they know shit about anything.So i'm PUNK cause i listen to simple plan and good charlottle.*roll eyes.It'll be mean if i'm gonna pin-point who is it.But yea.And she scolds cheryl for the mistakes she makes during band.Shameless brat please.The lower secs are so much different from my time.I didn't even there talk to my senior cause i was scared i'd disrespect them or something.Bahhh.Lucky i have cute lil' juniors this years.She's so cute! Reminds me of steph.=) Hahh.

Hmm.Is sat still comfirmed? I mean 21st.Msg me or something okays?.Yeps.Are you confused? Cause that day you really did looked confused.If we want it to stop then i think maybe we should just stop meeting each other for sometime.Everything will slowly fade off like that.Yeps.Ltrs.

Here's a thought, if you're willing to listen. I only tell the
truth of the feelings I'm given.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?.

Heys.Nothing much done today.Normal routine of school and band and all those daily shit.Accounts test was like shit.Scored 1/2 .I'm the bomb.Hahah.Debbie had a 0.=| Sam and sa passed cause we told them what to study.Lucky asses.Bahh.Okays.Too lazy to type my day.Ltrs.

What debbie drew.Ahhaha.


Plain Sunset Pics will be up soon.Not that nice though.Who cares.=)

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year

To be the last one who will sing you to sleep.

Heys.Bahhh.I still feel the same.Angry with my mum.Ugh.Shitty.Thank god she's going tomorrow.Hmm.Shall recap what happened.Hmm.Friday. Debbie was trying to draw sam again.Heh.Then we drew someone else.I dunno who also.Hehh.Had our laughs during maths la.Hehh.Veron sat in with us for band.Hahahaha.So dumb.A day in band.And she wrote notes and all that and sir even gave her tips on the band.Hawhaw. =)

Yesterday.Band was good.Came and just stonned at everyone's faces.Ahaks.Hmm.Played 2 new songs.Yellow mountain and Welcome.Yellow mountains was a slow,nice song? Haha.Easy to play la.Then we had break and stuff.Hmm.Came back and listened to this piece called welcome.Some jap song.Quite nice la.But too fast to even play.Hurr.Then they had the bass guitar part.Hahah.Me and tiffy was like volunteerting veron.Hahah.Yea.Finish ard 12.Pack and all that.Met debbie after that.We went back to wee lee's to find her tuner but cannot find.Hehh.Headed towards Tampines interchange.Hahah.I made a fool outta myself i swear.Bloody bus apek.I ran for the bus then the bus not never wait for me! Cheated my feelings.Yea.Met him.Woowheeeeee.=)

Reached home at 4 and was on the net chatting.Bathe and all that and met veron.Hah.The bus was taking super long i swear.Bleahs.Stupid bus service.Ended up standing at the carriage without any cute guys that had hair that fell on their faces.Pusssyy.Hahah.And my hair was like shit.Couldn't even out eyeliner properly.Hahah.Everything was bad la.Yea.Met veron at city hall then.Went to eat at long john's.Sat beside this few american/chinese punkrockers.Hahah.Then we saw many cute guys that have hair that fell on thier faces.=) Hehh.Made our way to substation.So many people.I reckon it was more than 100people.Hehh.Yea.Veron like bought so many plainsunset stuff.Hahaha.Jealous ah jealous.Didn't have enough money! Nooooooooo.Hehh.Regret ahhh.

When we went in,they already started.Haha.Brought my camera but it's always the case where my bloody batt just have to die.Arghh.Didn't take any pictures.Veron wanted to mosh but we ended up standing at the platform.Hehh.Yea.They were GREAT. Haha.Best gig! Hah.Away from all the pervies and the amount of cute guys that had hair that fell on their faces!! *faints.But i think all of them are attached.DAMN.Hehh.Yea.There was an encore also.Hahh.But we left after the 2nd song.I had like 8missed calls.Haha.All from home.Hehh.Yea.Veron's parents send me home.Kind of them.=) Yea.Slept early cause was having bad headache.Hahhh.

Well,another day spent sleeping.=) And my homework is not even done yet.Oh nooo.Even malay.Hehh.Maybe i'll wake up in the morning and do it.Haha.Ohhh.I miss my accounts text.*cries.Maybe i should write a song about losing your books.HAH.Yea.Tomorrow's going to be a long day.Having malay standard test.Should be okay la.Kefahaman.Yeps.Also having band after that.Dunno wheather i have to go to the hospital to visit my mum after that.Hehh.Crappy shithole.

Yesterday was good.Hah.I think one of the best time i spend my days with you.Hmmm.Yea.About stopping everything.I seriously don't know when but we have to eventually right? I try to tell myself to stop but i dunno.Action really does speak louder than words.I'm just contridicting myself.Thanks for being there to listen to my crap yea? and sorry i'm always throwing my trantrums at you.Hah.And pls don't tell me to tackle khai.HAH.Cause i know he's way out of my league.And he's too old for me.Hehh.But seriously,thanks for spending time with me.Hahhh.Your face still lingers in my mind.=).Ltrs.

Nor:Yea man! Rasta Rasta.But rasta don't sound like mustafa? Hahh.Crazy la you.

Farihin:You meanie poo!! Hahaha.But there were cute guys at the substation.Ahhhh.*faints.=)

Benedine:Hahaha.Okok.Wait i'll add you.

Justine:Alamak.I asked barry thru' his bell then he replied me thru' the mouthpiece.He said he loves me.=)

And I'm nothing more than a line in your book

Write them in a letter that says goodbye.

Heys.BAH.I feel like killing my mother.Fucker.I swear she's one hell of a pain.I wouldn't mind her staying in that fucking hospital and never fucking coming home.Go stay forever la.As if i'm gonna give a fuck or 2 about her.If she didn't fucking insult me i wouldn't have raised my voice at her.YA LA.STUPID LA.Who was the one who stopped at only sec4.Can't even spell simple words properly wanna say she smart la.VERY SMART.VERY VERY.

I hate it when she fucking ring the bell 10039837times so that she can come in.She has her own fucking keys right.Wanna lazy like anything la.Then she ask my maid wheather my brother called.He didn't.Then she said ya he did and he talked to me.What the hell? He didn't even fucking bother to call home.He msged me and tell me.So fine la.Then she said what i so stupid dunno how to tell me maid.Why must i even bother telling my maid right? As if she's the mum.So i raised my voice la.Say why must i tell the maid.Then that's when she fucking start her crap.

AHH.She thinks she's damn big la.NOT EVEN.Say what when i want money only i go to her.PLS LA.I NEVER DID.My ezlink card is it her fucking money? NOOOO.MY SCHOOL MONEY.My ugame book.Is it her money? NOOOOO.MY WEEKLY ALLOWANCE that i never even take back.Cut my phone if she wants.As if i don't have money to buy a phone card.As if the house no phone.Seriously,all this while,the only person who i talked to on the phone is debbie.No one else.She say what i talk to guy.PLS LA.I wouldn't give a guy my home number.I swear you know.SHE KNOWS SHIT ABOUT EVERYTHING BUT ACT AS IF SHE KNOWS.Maybe she should pick up the phone and hear who's talking.

Okay fine.I'm not going to a 'band' concert tomorrow but still at least i told them i was going right? She down there wanna fucking scold me say what i wanna go out only.Whatever to her okays.I just feel like yelling at her face and telling her to shut her trapt.Wanna everytime boy here,boy there,might as well just go stay with him in the army.Go wash he's undies for him.Ugh.Hate hate hate.I'm so bloody hell pissed with her.And my dad told me not to give him anymore problems already.AS IF i'm giving him problem.If that's the case then might as well leave right? My parents are being such a fucking pain i swear.Espeacially that bitchified mother of mine.I hope i won't grow up like that cow.No,no.I WILL not grow up like her.Unlike her,i have a brain.Just whatever.Fuck everything.I wouldn't care less about anything that happens to her.Worthless life i live with brainless parents i have.Sheesh.

pull the trigger and the nightmare stops

I'm seein red,don't think you'll have to see my face again.

Heys.Been lazy to type.Haha.Yea.Hmm.Bio test was kinda shitty cause obviously i didnt study.Heh.I don't give a fuck or 2 about bio.Screw.Actually i think it was kinda easy if i did study la.Heh.Yeps.Yesterday jamming for that jive station shit was the worst.I think we just made ourselves the laughing stalk.Heh.All the technical faults and we were being blamed for everything.Lisa also kena cause she had stage fright and she was head of publicity.Heh.Poor child.The amps were the lousiest.Then i had to sing.Oh my.My voice was fucking shitty i swear.Hahaha.Fine la.I don't have a good voice.Heh.

Stayed back to crap and pratice abit.Home with sam.Ya.Received our test paper back yesterday.Not really happy with the marks.9/20.Had so many careless mistake!! 2 infact.Mrs tay was being such a meanie and wouldn't pass me.Everytime like that.Had my father to sign it and he was going about how easy it was and that it was sec1 work.Pls.Sec1 we didnt even learn cos or sin.Wanna rubbish with me.Then he talked about my brother and stuff.Whatever la.BIAS!

Today morning was in such a bad mood cause i didn' complete any of my homework.Left my brody file in school.Shit ass.Hah.All my notes and paper all there.Copied social studies and geog while waiting for the bell to ring ring.Yea.Had a mock open book test just now.Didn't finish all the questions.Think i'm gonna just fail it.Alamak die ahh.Heh.Yeps.Physics was such a pain in the ass i swear.That Mrs boo.Fucker la that one.She picked on me.I never even talk say i talk.Rubbish crap.She should just shut her trapt.Ugh.What is wrong with society these days.

Maths was okays.Was laughing and laughing cause DEVI think she pro artist wanna draw drums.She even drew syahm.Hahaha.Wht sia.Then accounts.I lost my text.Noooooooooooo!!!!!! My text,my text! Forgot wheather i brought it home on tuesday.Then now all don't have.Alamak.My text!! Got so many things inside.All my notes.I don't wanna buy a new one.*screams.MY TEXT.The art of misplacing your accounts text.This is gay.Bahhh.Ended school and stuff.Chatted with the rest after class.Met lisa doing the radio station.Hahaha.All the lisa lover's attacking.Hurr.Got one,'Lisa,what do you want on valentines? From-Mystery' Hahahhaha.Lisa wants money just like honey.Hehhh.Then there was one,'Lisa,I wanna be your valentine From-She bangs' HAHAHA.Lisa that's our secret eh? HAHAH.She bangs! She bangs.I love lisa fans.

Jamming for us.=) Today's jamming was the best of all.Ahhh.Hahaha.Just wanna scream out loud cause it was really good with out HONKY drummer danielle.Heh.Had to force her to come and play.Hahaha.Yea.We covered wherever you will go,story so far,everywhere.Hahah.And of course hitchin' a ride.Hahaha.Sang today.Heh.No handsomes today.Debbie wanted to make friends with these ugly rancid guy! EEEE.So disgusting.Think he damn cool.All of them wanted to come into the room and sit with us.NOOOOO.Haha.Yea.Walked home with danielle after that cause we missed the bus.She didn't run like the wind! Hah.Yeps.

My dad ask me to go to the body world exhibition with him tomorrow.Hahaha.Said i went already.Then told him i had concert to go to.Hahah.He didn't say anything.That means a yes.Hurr.Yeaaa.Now i'm not excited about saturday.Hahaha.But we still get to spend the day TOGETHER.Hurr.Oh no oh no.English compo to do.Gego test tmr.Chap 6 and 7.So many things to do.So little time.Yeah yeah oh no.Ltrs.

And what you said now,
Can't stop the words from running through my head

Face down,let down.Face down,step down.

Heys.Argh.I swear my day is just shitty.PLAIN SHITTY.*screams.Went to school.Help debbie spray spray her hair.Pe and then we had some emergency practice.Found out we have to play tomorrow so finding for tabs all over.Heh.Yea.Bio was..sleepy.Just wanna sleep all the time and no one to msg.Bored like anything pls.Malay was okays la.Had fun crapping around with sam and muliana.Hehh.Social studies.Free period.Had stuff to do though.Then ms chua talk all the stuff to us la.About N's and all la.Huishan was being one retarded asshole.She should shut that mouth of her's.Headless chicken.

Went to do the dj booth thing and bring down the drums all for tommorrow.Heh.Waited for debbie till tutorials ended and we went to go eat gelare after that.Heh.Then maccies.yeps.Back home at 6.15.Saw a chicken downstairs my house.Hahah.So cute.Yea.Bleahs.That's when everything happened.

My mum being the BLOODY BITCH she is i think went to go tell my dad every single thing about what i did last week when he wasn't around.AS IF i did alot of things.And AS IF i've been coming home at 8 in the night or something.I got a fucking lecture from that old man.Said what he's been monitoring me la.Dunno what the crap la.Use the phone.Please la.Only my mum knows that.Bastard bitch.Then he didn't allow me to use the comp.Heck care i swear.I need to do 'research'.Heh.Yea.Then he down there say go home early la and those bullshit crap la.I hate people telling me what to do.I will do it by myself.The more you tell me to do it,the more i won't do it.

Then my donation crap card she borrowed 10buckers from it she still don't wanna pay back okay.Say what she play already la.BACKSIDE LA.Then next week i have to pay by myself.Fucker la.As if i have money tree to pluck money from.Whatever to them okays.My mother down there can say what i know how to ask for money only.If i weren't a god damn 16year old kid schooling,i wouldn't ask her or anyone else.Can't wait till i turn 21 so that i can move out.Maybe earlier.Whatever it is,i'm not staying with them after i earn.

And obviously they are so bias against me.Yea.Of course my fucking mother prefers my gay ass brother.She said so herself.Ahh.Neither do i prefer her.Bias bastard bitch.MOOTHAFUCKER LA.If they weren't like that i wouldn't rebel against them.BLAME THEM.

Bio test tomorrow.Have to pass.Ahhhh.The heart.Such a pain.Blood,arteries,veins,valves,ventricles.Oh well whatever.Can't wait till saturday.=) Plain sunset.Wooowheee.And of course saturday afternoon.Our day,TOGETHER.Heh.What rubbish crap.Life's a bitch.

I'll go wherever you will go

Summers dead and buried.

Heys.Today..pretty mundane and dull.Nothing productive was done.No money no go out.Well initially wanted to go out.Dad came home at the wrong time.I swear today everything was just wrong timing.Haha.Spend my whole day msging.Haha.No life.Bill's gonna shoot up.Oh well,whatever.What are handphones for anyways.

Debbie wants me to pierce her lips for her.Oh my.Hahaha.I'm scared.Numb the lips with ice,take a sterilised needle and poke.Yikes.I feel the pain.Hahaha.She said she don't wanna do it at the shops cost it's gonna cost her 60buckers unless we go make friends with them.Waddahell.Hahaha.Nonsense la.Homework to be done.Haha.Left with some malay,accounts and social studies.Haha.Lazy ahh.Heh.

Gelare day tmr.Dunno which one we're going to or wheather we're even going.Haha.Want to check out levis too.Hurr.They having sale.Ohhhh.Saleeee.LEVIS.Yay! My dad refuse to get me jeans.I need jeans with hooks so that i can wear my cowboy belt with it.Hah.Told him to get me jeans in vietnam.HEH.What rubbish crap.Yea.

So debbie think she was so smart.Went to go tell sam that i would buy his top-up card for him.Not even please.Hahaha.18buckers on top up card is just too much.Think of the amount of laksa's we can buy and eat.Hahaha.Not forgetting starbucks too.Hehh.Yea.Hah.He was msging her the whole time.Fine la! Msg debbie don't msg me.HAH.Whatever i swear.I got his mail add anyways.Chat chat chat your life away.

Got a little emo in the afternoon.Heh.All this emo-feeling is crap i swear.Feel that way for no reason.Hurr.Missing that special someone.And i bet he misses Ms saxxy waxxy too.Hahah.Being super thick skinned now but i dunno.So far i dunno how he feels.Sorry didn't spend time wit you today yea? Parents abit cock ah.I'll make time for you on saturday yea.=) I wish every moment could be spend with you.You yourself know.I'm falling more for you each day.

In this room I'm sitting by your side.
It rains for hours and the phone is off its hook.

Fairytales of New York.

Heys.Selemat Hari Raya to all those who celebrated yea? =) Hmm.Yeps.Day have been good so far.Haha.Msg Mr syahmi yesterday.Ahahah.Then i fell asleep.Hurr.Yeaa.Woke up and ate breakfast.Hah.My mum being super nice towards my brother you know.Bloody hell.Heh.When he not home only she throw her bloody tantrum at me.Whatever to her i swear.Debbie so mean.She said why my mother take out her womb,wait cannot make babies.Then i was like at her age make what babies.Then she said ask her to make more baby sons so that she can miss them when they go army.Rubbish crap.Hahaha.Watch tele till debbie and syahmi msged.Hah.Told debbie i was suffuring from a emo hangover.HAH.

Yea.Auntie came my house just now.Visited my superstar grandmother.HEH.Rock on.Hurr.Went to my grandauntie's house.Eat.Another grandauntie house.Eat.Auntie yah's house for hilmann's 21st.Hahah.So fast he's 21.Hehh.Alot of people la.Heh.Having fun with the camera.Uploaded some pictures up.In Misc. and Munirah.Yeps.Haha.Food was alright la.Didn't really eat much.Yea.Went home after that.

My uncle was asking me what course i would like to take in poly.I said i dunno.Then he asked me to take tourism? HURR.How can i become a tourist guide? Ahaha.Heh.Anyways yea.Maybe photography la.See how everything does.Hahaha.Aspiring photogrpher.

Suppose to go out with sam tmr but she cannot make it so i think i'm gonna stay home.Have tons of homework to complete also.Should try to get most of it done.Yeps.Dad won't be home till at night.Yepps.Chatting is like..no life now.Hah.Everyone's not talking to me.Rahh.What sia.Heh.Even syahmi not's replying.Whatever la.I think it's time to slp.Ltrs.














You took my dreams away when i almost found you

Pictures,stars,dreams.

Heys.Extreamly tired now.Heh.Been a long long emo day.Band in the morning.Was okays.Left at 1030.Met up wit a wole lot of other people.Maccies for me and debbie.She go see Mr lionel.Haha.And the indian guy making fun of her.What sia.Saw that CASSANDRA.I swear she's lucky i didn't go up to her and splash water at her.Wanna stare at me.WHAT SIA.So now big shot la.Then i just roll my eyes at them.Got laughed at.Bitcchhhh.Hah.Debbie went to shout fuck you after that.Hurr.Still angry with her.Ahh.Whatever.See everything on tuesday.

Collect out tin.Walked around like a stupis ass.Ask people for money cause i knew them.So many matnation and minahood and rudies and punks and skinheads.Hahaha.I got scared by them.Espeacially one girl.She was bald on one side.-Screams.Hahaha.Talk about bad hair days.Hahaha.Went to veron's house after that.Her kitty cat pussy wussy fluffy wuffy is cute.Hahaha.I like.There was pins too.And that leo the dog.Hahaha.Debbie wants to pull the cats' tongue and kick the dog.Rightttt.Hurr.

Return the tins after that.Went home to get ready.Yea.Got out at 7.Met debbie.Hahaha.She couldn't recognize me cause i waxed my hair.So it was minah-ish.But i liked it.Hurr.Yea.Orchard mrt was closed.Walked one big round before going to far east.Haii.That's when all these emo shit came.Hah.Khai wasn't working today! We saw ALI.Heh.Did my maths.Hah.Actually the guy's name is morgan and debbie went to go self intro herself.Hah.Rubbish.Yea.Walked down to mrt station.

Esplanade for us.Was suppose to meet my friend but i got stood up.Just whatever i swear.Saw the breakers do their thing.Hah.Yeps.Hmm.Yups.Walked down towards the boat there cause we thought got carnival.Ahaha.Turned out to be some ching chong stuff.Then we stop at the stage cause there was a band there la.Waddahell sia!! They singing cina rock song.Wahhh.Could have just faint.Then there was this group of guys la.Making fun of them.Hahaha.Sat at the esplanade.Feeling damn shitty while sitting there.Haha.Decided to go home after that.Was super tired and sick of walking around.Heh.Yeps.

Hari raye haji tmr.Haha.Yay? Mahaha.Yups.Hmm.Sorry i didn't meet up today.Everything's my fault.I'm sorry i didn't reply yesterday cause i was only back at 7.Yea.I'll make it up to you.That's if we both have the time.Hmmm.Its just hard to contact you.I thought that you'd msg me today but you didn't.So yea.Hardly see you online too.Hurr.Yea.Hmmm.No guys today la.No wonder feeling like shit now.Hahaha.Okok think i'm gonna turn in soon.Ltrs.

Heh.Me and my supposedly minah hair? Hurr.


Sometimes ignorance,rings truth